learning to love yourself
by nerdgirl1031
Summary: what happens when some of the pitch perfect cast has mental issues. Being used to bring awareness to mental illness. some are based of real events some are not! some chapters will use the pitch perfect characters other will use cast members!
1. Chapter 1

disclaimer: I do not own pitch perfect

 **Trigger warning: This story has major trigger warning for anorexia and is based around Brittany Snows nine year battle with anorexia**

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Anna Kendrick walked into rehearsal 5 minutes late and don't think too much of it, until she saw everyone else there.

"Shit, sorry I'm late. My mom was on the phone lecturing me about how i don't talk to my dad enough, and then saying then I'm a bad person-"

"Kendrick it's fine" Rebel interrupted as Anna put down her bag.

"Yeah AJ isn't here yet, the boys are in voice rehearsal and Brittany isn't here either." Alexis said as she continued stretching.

"Wait, Britt isn't here yet?" Anna said as she walked over to the rest of the girls to start stretching.

"No i texted her but she didn't answer" Anna Camp said.

"Someone should call her she's usually here first." Ester said

"Yea i will" Kendrick said walking over to get her phone from her bag. She then heard someone burst through the door. When she looked up she saw it was Brittany.

"Oh hey Britt Kendrick was just gonna call you." Kelly said softly noticing how mad the ginger looked.

"Yea well I'm here now" Brittany said throwing her bag on the floor. Everyone noticed her red checks that made it look like she was crying and the sweat already on her forehead.

"Hey, where were you?" Camp asked Brittany, picking up on all these signs too. Although all the girls had only known each other for 2 weeks they had already become great friends.

"I was at the gym." Brittany said lacking her usual enthusiasm.

"Why? you knew we had rehearsal" Rebel said seeming concerned.

"Oh um, well, i- um, my friend wants to loose weight but doesn't want to do it uh- alone so, i went with her." Brittany said looking flustered.

"What friend?" Shelly asked noticing how flustered Brittany had become when she was asked.

"That is no ones business. I know it's probably shocking but i do have friends." Brittany said her anger picking up immediately. Brittany began stretching not really caring what the other girls were thinking.

Anna Camp, who had worked with Brittany before, knew the younger girls struggle with eating disorders and immediately felt concerned for her friend.

"When was the last time you ate?" Camp asked, receiving questioning looks from the rest of the group.

"I don't know. Why do you care anyway?" Brittany snapped. Camp face grew more and more concerned for her friends while everyone else had realization hitting them.

"That's not an answer. When did you last eat" Camp asked with maturity in her voice.

"Why do you care! It's my life so what and when i eat is no ones business" Brittany yelled turning to face the group.

"Britt-" Kendrick started but got interrupted by the furious ginger.

"No." She said as she got up and left the room, passing AJ the choreographer on her way out.

"What's her deal?" AJ said to the rest on the cast.

"Oh nothing she just had to use the bathroom" Camp said quickly hoping no one would say anything about what really just happened.

"Okay well we can start rehearsal without her. I was a bit late today so we're just gonna get to work now, i hope your all stretched. Let's start by rehearsing the finale number." AJ said taking charge on the women.

The group ran the finale number 5 times and it was looking good, but Brittany still had not shown up.

"Okay Anna and Anna you guys go get Brittany out of the bathroom. We need her for rehearsal" AJ said noticing that after 10 minutes the young woman had still not shown up.

"Okay" the two Anna's mumbled making there way to the bathroom.

Meanwhile Brittany was just staring at herself in the mirror sobbing quietly. She hated herself and the way she looked. She hasn't felt this bad since she was twenty one. But three years later here she was.

When the door to the bathroom opened, Brittany turned away trying to control her tears as she faced away from the door.

"No. No. No. Brittany why are you crying" Camp said she and Kendrick ran over to their friend. Camp immediately took the sobbing ginger into her arms and felt the girl violently sob into her shoulder.

"Britt, what's going on?" Kendrick said rubbing the younger women's back as she continued to sob.

"I-i ca-ca-can't" Brittany said trying to regain her composure. But she felt Camp bring her back into a tight hug and she tried to calm her friend.

"Kendrick can you go get her a water bottle" Camp asked. Kendrick nodded and walked out of the bathroom to the vending machine.

"Britt what's going on? Are you feeling bad again?" Camp asked not wanting to upset the girl more.

She felt Brittany nod against her shoulder.

"Sweetie, you know you could have come to me? Im always her for you anytime if the day or night."

Brittany's sobs have subsided but Camp lowered her to ground anyway.

"What's bugging you?" The older blonde asked.

"I hate myself." Brittany whispered.

"What about yourself?" Camp asked knowing the ginger just needed to talk right now.

"My body, my weight, my height. Everything. I mean everyone so tall and thin in the group. And even if Rebel isn't the thinnest she embraces for her roles and her character. My character is supposed to be thin. And everyone is tall. Except for kendrick who is super skinny so it works out. But not me. I'm short and fat." Brittany rambled letting all of her feelings out.

Kendrick, who was standing at the door heard the whole thing, walked in towards the two women on the floor. "Britt. You are stunning. You are amazing and i know you don't want to hear this but you are perfect. And you are not short. You height is average. I'm short. And everyone has insecurities. But you know that everyone here loves you and cares for you. So if you ever feel like this again, you can call me, Camp, or anyone in the group. Because we all care for you." Kendrick said.

"I know, but it's hard. I'll try though" Brittany said making the others smile.

"Now, AJ might kill us if we take any longer so let's go back." Camp said.

The three girls walked back into rehearsal as they began to rehearse the finale number. The other girls noticed the tear stains in Brittanys face and the wet stain on Camps shirt but they didn't say anything.

"Alright" Elizabeth announced walking into the room, "I want to see the finale routine please. We need to start building that set."

Everyone nodded and began to get into there formations before Elizabeth spoke again.

"Is everything alright in here?" She asked her statement mainly at Brittany, who was just playing with a string on her shorts. AJ shrugged as he had not really known either.

"Yes were all fine, right girls?" Camp asked

A chorus of "yes" rang through the room.

"Okay if your sure…. Then lets get down to business." Elizabeth said, not really believing the girls, but not wanting to press any further either.

About half way through the routine Brittany began to feel faint. She stumbled over to her bag, hearing people call her name as she tried to unzip one of the pouches.

"Shit" Kendrick yelled making her way over to the stumbling ginger.

Kendrick immediately helped unzip the bag, keeping her and on the small of Brittanys back.

Camp and Kendrick had both hoped Brittany would be getting food from her bag, so they were disappointed when she only pulled out a bottle of water.

"Do you need to go to the hospital?" Elizabeth asked after Brittany took a few sips of water. The red-head shook her head closing her eyes a bit.

Rebel walked over to her bag grabbing some gummys and a granola bar and went over to the red-head.

"Here red eat up." The Aussie said handing the snacks to Brittany.

Brittany ate the granola bar feeling everyone eyes staring at her. Once she finished she leaned her had against the wall behind her.

"What is going on here?" Elizabeth asked concerned etched into her face.

"Brittany, tell them. They need to know. And start from the beginning." Camp said.

"Okay well um, well, I- uh- well. Okay so this is like hard to say so please no one interrupt because I don't think I can say it again. Okay well, from the age of twelve to twenty one I had severe anorexia, exercise bulimia and body disphormia. It started when I was working on this soap opera and I was not really, uh- chubby, but I I was working with women who were fully developed and super skinny and I wasn't. So I started a bunch of diets and I lost like 10 pounds in a month and after that people kept complementing me so eventually I skipped a meal, so I stopped eating lunch and then I progressed to me only eating like a piece of fruit each day. But by the time I was fifteen I was going to my homecoming dance and I had weighed only 85 pounds with the dress on. And I knew that was bad but I had thought that I wasn't doing enough. So when I was like seventeen I got really depressed and I started cutting, not because I wanted to kill myself but because the physical pain was easier to deal with. That was when I admitted to my dad that I needed help, so I went to this therapy place and I remember looking around at everyone else there and I just broke down. I didn't want it to effect the rest of my life and I didn't want to have kids whose mother cared more about the way she looked than her own children. So I continued going to therapy and it got better and I still have to take anti depressants and just I dont know I mean I hate the way I look." Brittany finished as she began to sob.

Camp rushed over to the crying girl held her in her lap, while whispering calming words of comfort to the younger girl.

"Okay looks like Campers got this figured out so ill go see how the boys are doing and why don't you guys go to the other side of the room." Elizabeth said as she walked out of the room.

The other girls walked over to the other end of the room occasionally glancing over at the two women still sitting on the floor.

"Well that is not what I expected" Rebel said.

"Yea I feel so bad I mean she is still sobbing." Kelly said quietly glancing over at Brittany.

"But guys we can't treat her differently because of it. She will think she's being pitted and won't like herself even more." Kendrick said hoping everyone would understand. The women all nodded then glanced back and the two ladies sitting on the floor.

Brittany had barley calmed down and Camp had no idea what to do. Usually her friend would calm down by now.

"Campers?" Rebel asked hesitantly. Camp looked up at the group of women slowly making there way over to them. Camp glanced down to see if Brittany had even heard the exchange, but she was still sobbing loudly.

"I think we should do something. She gonna make herself sick." Ester said looking down at the ginger.

"She cannot make herself the granola bar was the first thing she ate in two knows how many days." Shelley said sadly.

"Britt, I need you to look at me." Camp said slowly, the red-heads sobs had quite down a bit but they were definitely still there.

AJ had stepped out of the room to give the girls their space and to go get a small snack.

"Brittany please just look at me." The blonde pleaded quietly as the ginger looked up at her with red swollen eyes, blotchy cheeks and tears still coming out of her eyes.

"Britt you know we all still love you very much. Nothing will change that. No one will see you differently. Your still the same Brittany we all know and love. The gorgeous red head who is always the first one to rehearsal no matter what time it is. The youngish bubbly girl who can put a smile on anyones face. "The girl who always has a Tampon in her bag in case any body needs." Camp said earning a light chuckle from. Brittany, but more tears fell.

"Yeah Britt we all still love you so much. We care for you just the way you would care for anyone of us." Alexis said.

"Yea your our little snow machine." Rebel said getting a laugh from everyone one.

"Im such a mess." Brittany whispered looking down.

"Yeah well so is Kendrick but its okay we still love her… and we all still love you" Rebel said earning a smile from everyone a friendly glare from Kendrick.

"You guys don't think I'm.. crazy?" Brittany questioned looking up at the women standing in front of her, tears still falling from her eyes.

"Not at all" Kelly said as everyone nodded in agreement.

"Yea and if if you ever need to talk, none of us really have lives, so you can call or text anyone of us and we will answer" Kendrick said.

"I love you guys" Brittany said standing up.

"We love you too" Camp said standing up.

"Alright so now we need to hug!" Rebel said throwing her arms up.

As everyone gathered in a group hug Brittany felt better, and she immediately realized how lucky she was to have the most amazing best friends in the world.

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 **An/ whew that was a long one shot, and it took me forever. I did change a few things up about the cast but only minor details. I also somethings from my own struggle with brief eating disorders in the** **story. If anyone wants to talk I'm here.**


	2. Authors note

**Authors Note:**

Hey guys, so there was a few request to do more chapters based around the other girls. It would take a few days but I just wanted to know who would be interested. Leave a reply if you would be interested.

Also check out my Instagram , where I post edits for multiple fandoms!


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